


in which dan figures out that he's asexual

by st0rrm



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Asexual, Asexual Character, M/M, ace!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st0rrm/pseuds/st0rrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan figures out he's asexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in which dan figures out that he's asexual

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of this is real!! 0: also i am in no way affiliated with either of them lmao
> 
> also this is just based on my experience as an asexual and it doesnt speak for anyone else other than me or anyone who might relate to it

Sex is something that you've never even _thought_ about having with Phil. It's not that you aren't attracted to him, because holy _hell,_ you are, but sex has never crossed your mind. In fact, sex hasn't ever been something you're interested in. You've just never thought about Phil like that. You don't even masturbate unless you really, _really,_ need to.

So, when Phil suggests the idea, you're shocked. And you immediately answer him: “What? No!”

He looks a little hurt but he sobers up quickly, and replies, “Alright.” You get a sudden rush of anxiety; you feel bad. Even though, logically, you know Phil would never force you into having sex, you still feel as if you disappointed him.

A few months go by, and you figure it out.

You had gone on a few extreme Tumblr searches before you found the term. _Asexual._

You didn't know what it really meant but to you, it felt _right._ You had never really questioned your sexuality after you had came to the conclusion of: “Oh, I don't like girls; I must be gay.”

You realized, though, you didn't really like boys either. Phil was the exception. Everyone else, though, was an absolute and utter _no._ You decide to confide, anonymously, in a user on Tumblr.

_**Anonymous:** is it possible to realize youre asexual when you're in your twenties? im 23 and im pretty sure im asexual but i dont want to take a label thats not mine_

_**Answer:** Hey nonnie! It's completely possible to realize that you're asexual while you're in your twenties. It's actually pretty common! <3 Especially if you didn't know about the sexuality beforehand, but I don't know if that's the case with you._

_**Anonymous:** (same anon as before) no I just recently found out what it is and honestly im just sitting here thinking “wow that is so me” i only looked into it because my boyfriend suggested we try having sex and honestly i was shocked by the idea it literally never crossed my mind sex just isnt something ive ever wanted with anyone or thought about_

_**Answer:** Well, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, and from the sounds of it, it could be possible! You should try discussing this with your boyfriend!_

You didn't send them anymore messages after that.

* * *

 

The first time you tried telling Phil, it didn't go well.

“Hey, Phil?” You had walked into his room and laid down on his bed next to him. You had curled yourself around him.

“Yeah, Dan?”

“I, uh...” You tried, but you couldn't. “I love you.”

Phil laughed and kissed you on the forehead. “I love you too.”

* * *

 

The second time you tried telling him, you _almost_ did it. _Almost._

“Is something bothering you?” Phil gave you a look of furrowed eyebrows and a slightly pouted lip. You could see the pity in his eyes. You were sure he noticed how you'd been down lately.

“Uh...kind of.”

“What is it?”

You stared at a spot on the sofa and fiddled with your hands for a few minutes before replying. “I...um...I think we should uh...come out?” You immediately cursed yourself. _I don't want to fucking come out! What the hell was that?!_

Phil gave you a shocked look, and honestly, it took you about half a second to basically run out of the room.

* * *

 

The third time you tried telling Phil, you actually did it. Third time's a charm, eh?

He came into your room, and gave you the _look._ “Dan, tell me what's wrong.” He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. He took on an intimidating stance. His gaze killed you. He was so _gorgeous._

This look, or composure at least, was one that you couldn't lie or say no to. “I'm asexual.” You finally said it.

“Seriously? That's it? I thought you were going to tell me you fucked my mum!” You snorted and started laughing. Phil rolled his eyes and came to lay down next to you. You closed your laptop and pushed it to the side. You turned to face Phil, before wrapping your arms around his torso. He wrapped one of his arms around you, and ran the hand attached to his other arm through your hair. “You realize I still love you either way, right?”

You nodded. “I know, I know...”

“Just to, uh, clarify, though...We're still a thing, right?”

You nodded again. “Wouldn't want it any other way.”

“Dan, I think we need to discuss boundaries and things that you are and aren't okay with.” You took a deep breath and squeezed Phil a little tighter. He rubbed your back a little bit.

“Okay.”

“I'm going to list off things; just tell me yes or no on whether or not you're okay with them.”

“Okay.”

“Hugging and cuddling?”

“Yes.”

“Kissing?”

“Yes.”

“Making out?”

“Maybe. It depends.” Phil nodded.

“Is making out where you draw the line?”

You nodded this time. “Yeah. Maybe one day I'll be okay with, uh, anything more, but, for now, I'm really not.”

“Alright, that's absolutely okay. Thank you for telling me this, Dan.” You felt your throat closing up and your eyes starting to water. Once the first tear fell, Phil talked. “You okay? I didn't make you upset, did I?”

You shook your head and let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, god, _no,_ Phil. I'm just wondering what the fuck I did to deserve someone like you.”

A few minutes and a few kisses later, Phil asks, “Do you actually want to come out?”

“ _No.”_

 


End file.
